The Daniel Fast and what's taking so long

This is day 3 of my Daniel Fast. Since the beginning of this year, 2011, the Lord has been dealing with me to endure a season of self-inflicted denial. It has come up quite a few times so please forgive me Lord for being so slow to obey you. And here I am on Day 3 of a 21 day fast where I do not eat any "sweet or tasty food." No coffee, no tea, no meat or sugar. All the stuff that makes cooking worth the effort is off the menu. I had no idea how hard this would be. It's not the craving for the all the tasty stuff that's so hard. The hard part is dealing with the withdrawals. I feel like I've got the flu! My wife is getting hit even harder. Her symptoms seem much more acute and extreme than mine. This is exactly NOT what I thought I was in for.

The appeal of the Daniel Fast for me was growing closer to God. I was expecting more serenity and revelation. I was not expecting a fist fight with my own glands. I feel completely blindsided by this. However, a part of me, feels comforted by this. The Lord has been kind enough to show me how to handle myself in a fight against my own flesh. I know the cravings and symptoms will subside and, in the end, my spirit will be standing over my flesh. I have great confidence that this is how this is going to end. And as much as I'm tempted to gripe and moan, I'm actually pretty thrilled with this turn of events. Serenely bathing in the sound of my own breathing is not my idea of fun. In fact, it sounds really boring. I'd be miserable after 30 seconds. I'm much more eager to feel some punches and throw some of my own. And although I feel like I've taken a beating right now, I am enjoying the experience.

The crucial element to this fast is the spiritual exercises. During this fast, one is encouraged to dive into Isaiah 58 and meditate on this passage of scripture that describes true fasts and superficial fasts. I've been careful to do this and have already begun to reap some wisdom. I've discovered that the major factor that is delaying my miracles and breakthrough is...you guessed it, my own selfishness.

I've been cooperating with God for a number of years now in my pursuit of the abundant life Jesus bought for me. I had no idea how far from it I had wandered and occasionally get discouraged. During my time spent at Faith Life Church, I was taught how to put my flesh under. This has proven a key part of my development. Without the ability to control my own members, I am useless in the Kingdom. Now that I am taking this advanced course in putting my flesh under, I realize there's another trait that needs to be banished. I now see that I am and have been for a long time, very self-absorbed. Just like my laziness hid itself in busy work, my selfishness has cloaked itself in token gestures of charity and help. I've helped others, I've donated time, clothing, food and money but never solely for the benefit of others. I've done these things solely for my own purposes. When I've given anything, its always been with the expectation that I'm getting credit for this and will someday be able to cash in all these brownie points for something I want. The fact that someone else was getting blessed was a non-factor. I honestly didn't care about the recipient, I just wanted credit for my giving. From the outside, it looked like generosity but on the inside, God and I both knew it was selfishness. Thank God for 1 John 1:8 which promises us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us. Thank you Lord for bringing this to my attention so I can confess it and get the victory over it.

Selfishness is among the most offensive things to God. Scripture is jam-packed with examples of God expressing His disgust for it. More importantly, its opposite, love, is the most highly regarded trait. When we do things for the sole purpose of blessing someone else, the Lord is greatly pleased. I must admit that I don't know much more about this. I know he cherishes love and hates selfishness but beyond that, I don't have much more. I can tell you almost everything you need to know about selfishness. But I don't know much about loving others as we love ourselves. Just haven't had that much practice at it. But all that is changing too. I plan to use the same weapons I used to put my body under.

This is how I intend to win this battle. When I find myself doing something out of selfish ambition, I plan to stop, take that thought captive, cast it down, ask the Holy Spirit to help me replace that thought and then move on. I will refuse the temptation to make excuses. Even as I'm writing this, my flesh is already getting anxious. My flesh is already getting concerned about missing out something it wants. My flesh is genuinely concerned that I'll have to watch somebody else enjoy something I sacrificed without any guarantees that I'll get something out of it. This is my starting point. Thank God that this is not my ending spot.

I believe as I do this more, I will become so delighted with helping others, concerns for own well-being will diminish. This will allow God more room to do as He pleases. This will make it possible for God to attend to my needs and desires in His magnificent way. I plan to do what does not come natural and trust God to recognize my motives. This is how I am going to win this battle.